A fellow blogger, Jessica Sprenkel, who happened to be a really important supporter of my writing a blog, suggested that I come up with some regular topics that might keep readers coming back on certain days for certain topics. Another friend of mine, Elizabeth Shaffer, suggested I do one on Girl Talk. We just happened to spend an entire weekend camping, and, of course, there was lots of girl talk on that trip. It ran the gamut from talking about men, weight, food, recovery, family and on and on. Girls just love to talk. So, why not do a blog with you ladies as my audience?
So, on Mondays, tune in for Girl Talk. Now, you guys may want to read Girl Talk for the information it might bring and for its entertainment value, but just keep in mind that the audience is women. The other days of the week, you will be included as part of the audience. I’d love to hear from you, ladies, about what we might talk about in Girl Talk. I know dating is a big topic. It’s actually the topic that I’ve written about most on Facebook that people like to comment on. So, we’ll definitely chat about that. We’ll also chat about weight, self-esteem, men, makeup, clothes, accessories and food. What else do you want to chat about?
I’ll tell you that I used to have difficulty in relationships with women. After all, we were kind of in competition with each other, or so I thought. It was not until later in life that I realized that we were on the same side. And, in fact, I learned that, not only are we on the same side, but we just can’t navigate this world successfully without each other. What a relief that was to come clean with some women and find out that I’m not the only one who has body image issues, crazy thoughts and fears about the future, and fears about never being lovable.
What I love about women is that we understand and embrace the emotional roller coaster that we ride. Men try to get it and try to understand it, but they can’t possibly know how difficult it is to ride this up and down cycle that is often hormonally driven. In fact, since I’ve started into the phase of life with perimenopause, I’ve often felt that my emotional life was completely out of control. In the months where my cycle doesn’t “cycle”, I’m amazed at how peaceful it is to wake up every morning feeling pretty much the same. I actually can’t wait to live like that full time. Sometimes, it’s unfathomable to me how we manage to hold down jobs and manage relationships. But, we do. And, it is really hard work. Men will just never realize what that’s like. A man was talking to me awhile back about one of the women in his life. He said he couldn’t be expected to change his life when the feelings she’s having are “irrational”. I explained to him that they mean seem irrational to him, but we can’t tune out or shut off our emotions as easily as men can. It’s just not possible. And, really, all we need them to do is listen and validate what we’re feeling. If I’d had a man do that, it would have rocked my world.
It was when I started to really love and care about women and develop stronger relationships with them that I started to love myself. I think all my life I was really comparing myself to men, and I was left wanting, because, hey, I’m not a man. I’m going to do things differently. I’m going to struggle with my emotions. I’m going to struggle with upper body strength. I’m not as fast. But, I’m better at a lot of things like understanding my emotions, talking about how I feel, developing and maintaining relationships and being cooperative rather than competitive. In the past, I don’t think our culture valued those feminine qualities as much as masculine ones. Sometimes, we still don’t, but I do think it’s better. And, I think as all people age, we become more like the opposite gender.
We all carry both feminine and masculine energy. We use each type of energy in different situations. For many years, my masculine energy was more defined because of my work in corporations. The masculine is just more acceptable there. In my family of origin, masculine energy was more dominant. In sports, masculine energy was more valued. So, I developed that side of myself more. In recovery from divorce, my walk down my spiritual path and in my yoga practice, I have developed more of my feminine energy and power. It’s taken a long time to be balanced in this way, and I think it’s one of the reasons I’ve struggled a bit in my romantic partnerships. But, now, I treasure my softer side. In fact, I often show my softer side at work, and I was afraid to do that for a long time. It’s just as important there if not MORE so. We need feminine role models.
So, I dedicate Mondays to girl talk. See photos of my girlfriends that I love and cherish so much. Without them, I would not be able to breathe.