I have a Type A personality. I used to think I had gotten over it. I would tell people that I used to be Type A until I started doing yoga. My friends would look at me like I was nuts. More than a few times, they have looked me in the face and said, “You are still Type A.” I’m pretty intense. Recovery, my faith, yoga, medication and meditation have all helped me to relax…..Easy does it.
Easy Does It is what we say in 12 step groups. It’s a slogan to remind me to relax and let the program and God do the work. When I first got into recovery, I went crazy trying to “fix” my problems. I read books, went to retreats, started furiously working the steps and spent most of my time trying to understand why I was in so much pain and why I had gotten myself in this situation. And, I did learn a lot. I learned a lot of techniques to help me, and I learned a new way of living. But, all the work in the world didn’t change my “insides”. I had to let God and the program do that. It took time and acceptance of my life as it was.
I have generalized anxiety, and it flairs up anytime I’m overwhelmed, scared or just have a lot of new things going on. “Be Still and Know That I am God” is scrawled in large letters across my yoga room/entryway wall. It’s there to remind me to just let God handle this crap. He is so much bigger and smarter than I am. I forget that hourly. I also use lavender essential oil to help calm me. I do yoga to keep me grounded and in the moment. I go to meetings to help remind me of how blessed I am. I get acupuncture and massage regularly. All of these things are essential ingredients to help me relax. Easy Does It doesn’t come easy for me. If I want serenity, I have to take care of myself.
I’m traveling for work now, and it causes me to compartmentalize my life. I can’t do things I need to do or want to do at home when I’m on the road. And, I have to work really hard to get my home and work ready for me to go away. It causes a lot of stress for me, physical and emotional. This morning I got up and worked out. I stuck with my acupuncturist’s recommendation to have only ONE cup of caffeine. It helped. I was able to be present and grounded for most of the day. And, when I’m grounded, I can enjoy other people and connect at a much deeper level. That helps me relax, too. I need to know I’m not alone in this journey.
Easy Does It doesn’t come easy for me. I know that. I’m stubborn, and I want everything now. But, I can’t have it now. I know from experience that waiting for things sometimes does make them sweeter. Sometimes God has a better plan for me than I can ever imagine. If I try to force a solution, try to make something happen, I might just screw that up. Right now, I think I’ll relax with my decaf latte, say a little prayer that all my little chickens at home are doing alright and enjoy this nice cozy hotel room bed. I’ll go run in the desert tomorrow. Maybe I’ll watch the sunrise on a new day, and I’ll enjoy the moment. Easy Does It.