Step 3: Surrender
A lifetime of self-will run riot can come to a screeching halt, and change forever,
by making a simple decision to turn it all over to a higher power.
The principle of Surrender for me was a tough pill to swallow. I’m a get it done sort of woman. I figure out what the problem is, find a solution and fix it. It’s just the way I’ve always been. I don’t have time to let problems hang around and muck up my life. It’s probably one of the reasons I sought help early in my life for my drinking problem. However, I didn’t even realize I had a problem with codependency because that was the root of my issue ….trying to fix, control and manipulate situations. So, that’s really where the principle of Surrender hit me hard.
I did not want to surrender to another person, place or thing. For one thing, I had learned that I would not be safe. I had been placed in situations where others hurt me, abused me and generally were very self-absorbed. My needs and safety were not considered. So, I learned that I had to fend for myself. By the time I came into recovery, I was in a very emotionally and verbally abusive marriage. I was at the point of exhaustion trying to keep myself safe. My body was even starting to shut down because of the sheer exhaustion and fear of being in that marriage with an unsafe person.
So, Surrender was really hard for me. I remember when I really “got it” that I could Surrender to my God, and He would keep me safe. I had it in my mind that saving my marriage and fixing my husband’s problems was the answer. It was the ONLY answer. But, as I got better, my husband tried to push me back into old behavior by escalating the chaos. I finally said NO and left him. I finally SURRENDERED to the possibility that I couldn’t fix this, and there might be another answer. I SURRENDERED to a power greater than myself and prayed that whatever should happen will happen. I let go of control. I remember being terrified of the outcome.
She Let Go
by Rev. Safire Rose
She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of the fear. She let go of the judgments. She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go. She didn’t search the scriptures. She just let go. She let go of all of the memories that held her back. She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward. She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it. She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.
She didn’t analyze whether she should let go. She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn’t call the prayer line. She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.
No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.