The Art of Being Single: Technology

The pic from Daddy with “luv u” as the caption.

The other day I was in the darkest part of processing some sadness. I was in tears, feeling fear, grief and pain. A text came across my iPhone. It was a picture of my Dad, toasting me with a cigar in his mouth and the caption read, “luv u”. My parents don’t text. Hell, they can barely figure out how to answer the phone. But, he was visiting a friend of his who texts. So, it was the first text I ever got from my father. It literally took my breath away. I needed that hug so bad, and it was such perfect timing. The picture with those words below it touched me more than he will ever know. I love technology.

I have several good friends who are psychic mediums. When working with the spirit world, there is no time or place. Spirits can go wherever they want. You can have readings done over the phone because the world is all one big place. As ordinary humans, we are limited by the fact that we do have time and place. Technology somewhat levels the playing field. The first time I was single, I had a lot of lonely time. This time is entirely different. I am connected whenever I want because of the magic of technology. I believe we are spiritual beings having a human experience. So, when I really embrace technology for that connection, it opens up a whole variety of avenues for me to reach out and to be touched.

As I moved around throughout the country, I had friends come and go. It was harder to stay in touch because, at first, I had to be home and available by phone, and we both had to have the time to talk. Then, cell phones came on the scene, and I didn’t have to be home, but I still had to have time to talk. But now….. like it or not …. we have Facebook with the ability to post what I feel and have people respond at their convenience. Friends that I thought were lost forever are now in my daily world again. Texting gives me the same ability. I am in more contact now with people that live in other states than I am with my next door neighbor.

I am a trainer, and I know that people are wired for learning and connection in different ways. Some people are more impacted by hearing. Others are more visual. And, still others need to do something. If you think about technology, it starts to bring in senses that we weren’t able to use except when we were in person. The telephone – which is also technology – brought in hearing, and that’s all we had for a long time. I’m sure when the telephone first came out, people thought it was miraculous that you could hear someone that was in another state. Now, with Skype and FaceTime, we can see and hear people. The first time I skyped with my friend Alayne, I was blown away by the impact of seeing her. We met briefly in person, but our relationship developed over the phone. So, my wiring for that relationship was based on the sound of her voice. Seeing her face and her living space opened up a whole different level of intimacy. It was profound.

Technology can be misused. It can be addictive. You can hide behind it. I know people that won’t call when they can text. I’ll ask them if they can talk. If they say, yes, I’m like, Then why are we texting? I definitely think it’s better to build a friendship or relationship in person rather than over the phone or text. But, people are busy today. I’m a realist that adjusts my sails. If I have the choice to connect with them over Facebook or text or not at all, I’ll take the technological connection. No longer is distance an excuse to let a relationship die if I really want to keep it.

My blog has been one of the most impactful uses of technology for me. As I’m sitting here now, writing, I’m just typing out my thoughts in the privacy of my own living room with my dog sleeping beside me. When I post, my thoughts go out to the world. Now, granted, not everybody in the world reads my blog, but I have lots of international readers. And, I know I have readers that I don’t know about. I run into people all the time that tell me they read my blog, and I had no idea. Some are subscribed via email. I just got a note 5 minutes ago from an old friend that I haven’t seen in about 15 years who wants to subscribe to my blog. He heard through the grapevine that I have something to say. It’s kind of interesting to think that anybody cares what goes on in this crazy mind of mine, but they do. And, it’s fun.

Blogging is like a one-way conversation, but I can say my piece whenever I want. It helps me process my thoughts much like a conversation with a friend does. My ex called me the other day, and, for the first time, we had a very pleasant conversation. I credit this blog with that. I’ve processed that relationship and my hurt and anger on this blog page. And, it’s been archived. I love it when people comment or add their own thoughts because then it’s more of a real conversation. Sometimes people text me or Facebook me to comment on a particular blog. Other times, I’ll have dinner or coffee with somebody, and they just launch into the middle of the conversation. We started our visit when they read my blog. We finish it in person. I’ve made lots of new friends, and I’m making more everyday. It’s the single most connecting thing I’ve ever done in my life. I’ve lost friends who are uncomfortable with who I am. But, that’s okay. I would’ve lost them anyway. I am who I am. They just didn’t know who I was. The more important part is that I’ve gained friends who were on the periphery of my life that I may never have really known without publishing this blog. It gives us an avenue of connection. We all share similar life experiences, and the topics I write about give us a chance and a motivation to take a minute and connect with one another.

Right now, I’m working on adding video to my blog. I spent last night re-learning my movie-making application iMovie. It’ll add a new element of intimacy, I think. When the talkies came out, it changed the movie experience forever. Add another sense to the mix, and it changes things completely. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. I want all avenues open to act on those spiritual connections I have with others. If I think of you, I want to say hi. I’m glad I don’t have to wait until I have time to call you, and you have time to put your life aside and answer. Technology makes it more of a flow.

4 Comments on “The Art of Being Single: Technology

  1. Thanks for making think about how important technology is to our lives. At this point I know that life wouldn’t be nearly as exciting or fun without it.

    • Me, too! And our connection has certainly endured because of it. I know there are pitfalls and cons, but I don’t ever want to go back!

  2. I occasionally stop for a moment and think about technology, its impact, its evolution and our reliance on the availability of the new and our anticipation of what’s coming. I usually end up thinking of what unimaginable “thing” we will have in 20, 30, 40, 50 (if I am lucky enough to still be here) years and how antiquated the technology and devices we have today will have become.

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