My friend Karen posted this really interesting article on Facebook today. It was such a big reminder to me about how my body doesn’t lie. Unfortunately, I don’t always listen to my body. I have ulterior motives. And, if the truth be told, there are times I don’t have any clue what my body is trying to tell me. But, I know it is wise. It is very, very wise.
I first discovered this when I received my first massage. I didn’t know it at the time, but massage therapists can read what’s going on in your body. Interestingly enough, the article Karen posted today said exactly that. I was at the very end of my first marriage but I couldn’t find the courage to end it. I was scared to death. It had been so long since I’d been touched that the massage freaked me out a little. I had forgotten the power of touch. In the midst of it, she told me that I needed to follow my heart. It was the beginning of the cracking open of my heart and I left my husband exactly 6 months later. It was the first time I’d ever really heard that I should follow my heart. I’m sure people had said it to me before, but I never heard it, and I know it was the powerful sensation of touch that finally allowed it to sink in. I was ready.
A 13 year yoga practice has confirmed the wisdom of my body. When I am tight in certain areas, it is generally because I’m holding emotion or trying to ignore something that is going on in my life. In addition, any past emotional experiences in my entire life are stored in my body. I can’t tell you how many times I have felt deep emotional releases when I have finally stretched open a space in my body in my yoga practice for the first time. I wasn’t aware initially why this would happen, and it was kind of embarrassing when it happened in a class. But, when I took my teacher training class, they explained how the body holds all of our emotions unless we express them and release them. That is why it is so important not to repress emotions. They will stay stuck in your muscles and tissues and eat away at you for all time. Things like yoga, acupuncture, massage and other energy and bodywork help release these emotional holdings.
I went to the acupuncturist last week, and, for the first time ever, I felt pain when she pulled a needle out. I will feel pain when she inserts a needle on those points where I’m struggling or I have blocked energy or chi. I’m used to that, and she can usually tell me what’s going on with me emotionally or mentally by where I am blocked. But, I had been through an hour and a half treatment, and I still had some blocked chi. If memory serves me correct, it was the point that corresponds to sadness. “Girl, you have some blocked chi!,” she exclaimed. I was harboring a secret, and I knew exactly what the problem was in my body. For the past three months, I’ve been acting against my own values in a certain area of my life, and I’ve been struggling with what to do about it. I didn’t tell her but I knew that’s what my body was saying. It was telling me that it’s time I followed my heart.
I went to the dentist yesterday, and I had this little spot that came up on my gums in the last week or two. It’s not painful, but I mentioned it to the dentist. I thought he would give me some salve or tell me it would go away, but he told me that I needed to see a specialist because my root canal was draining. This particular root canal has been done twice, and it’s finicky. It’s acting up again. When Karen posted that article today, it reminded me that my body was probably trying to tell me something. So, I googled “root canal, spiritual cause” on the internet. I found this web page on the spiritual causes of diseases and conditions. What did it say?
Root canal – Feeling that one’s integrity has been compromised (self-condemnation)
Now, I’m not saying that I always go by this stuff, but when I know that I am compromising my integrity and my value system, and I experience a physical symptom that is supposed to reflect that particular spiritual problem, it wakes me up. I’m pissed, too. I’d like to go along and keep doing what I’m doing, but I believe it’s impacting my health. And, I don’t want to fool around with another root canal. So, I called my acupuncturist, and I hope to see her tomorrow. I may end up having to see a specialist about my tooth, but if acupuncture and acting on the knowledge I have about what I need to do will clear it up, that’ll be a lot cheaper and a lot less painful. The hard part will be getting back in line with my value system. What I’m doing is not necessarily wrong, but if it goes against what I believe, that’s all that matters. My body said so. Dammit. I hate it when I’m busted.