A friend of mine is trying to extricate herself from a relationship. She’s having a difficult time because whenever she feels the anxiety of being alone, she texts him. Texting is such a quick way to connect with somebody. It’s made it easy to get into relationships and difficult to exit. A text is right at the tip of your finger. I might never get the nerve to call, but it’s so easy to text. And, WHAM…. you’re connected again. I joke that Steve Jobs was really the devil. My friend got serious about stopping the texting and really wants to stop. So, she asked for my support.
I called her last night just to check on her. It had been almost 24 hours since her last texting escapade with the crazy man. She answered the phone, laughing. “OMG,” she said. “I was in the middle of typing a text to him, and you called. That was God.” We laughed. We have a saying in recovery that God does for us what we can’t do for ourselves. I didn’t feel God telling me to call her, but I imagine there was some thread either between me and my friend or between God and me that was prompting me at that moment. I’ve just found that’s the way God works. He doesn’t always intervene, but, when He does, I usually know it. And, He usually does it with a bold sense of humor.
This morning my friend texted me about something that she read about our problems leading us to prayer, and that’s a good thing. “Text God,” I quipped. “LOL no kidding,” she texted back. Actually, it’s a pretty damn good idea. If I, as a 52 year old, have become this accustomed to texting as a way of communication, just imagine how the younger generation has texting ingrained into their communication styles. I have learned in my spiritual journey working with others that God talks to people in as many different ways as there are people. If someone is wired for text, why not text God?
Me: Hey, God. I was thinking about moving.What do you think?
God: Do you care what I think?
Me: Depends on what you say.
Me: Well? Should I start thinking about that?
God: Aren’t you already thinking about it?
God: Then why are you asking me? 🙂
God is frustrating. When I want to know now, He doesn’t give me a straight answer. When I don’t want to know. He slams the answer in my face. I used to always question whether or not I was in God’s will, but I’ve come to understand that I don’t have to figure it out. If it’s in God’s will, something will present itself with the message. If it’s not, I’ll be stopped in some fashion. Now, I can work to overcome the obstacles, but I generally know that if I’m having to force something, that’s not God’s will. Of course, it’s never that simple.
When I was considering leaving my second husband, I had been praying for a long time for a definite answer. I was honest with God and told him that I was having great difficulty overcoming my fears about leaving, and I needed to be knocked upside the head with the answer on whether I should go. That day came, and it was so over the top, that I knew my answer was there. I slept on it and started waffling. I went to church that morning, and while I was sitting there, from the right side of my brain came a strong chorus of do it …. do it … DO IT …. DO IT … DO IT. It went on the entire time I was there. At the end of the service, I was so pumped up with energy from this command that I marched over to the prayer warrior by the wall and asked her to pray for me. I told her I was going home to leave my husband, and I needed strength to do it. I went to my car, called a friend of mine who had been urging me to get out of there, and asked them to meet me at my apartment. I moved out while he was at yoga. I knew I had to strike while the iron was hot. I was not capable of making that bold move on my own.
I usually get my messages from God through other people or through something physical. Those are my two primary channels. I am very physically and relationally wired. My body is very sensitive to spiritual discord, and something will manifest in my body physically if I’m not in alignment with my own spiritual practice. And, because of yoga and my sensitivity to energy, I feel very subtle changes. If something hurts in my body, I immediately ask myself what is going on with me that could be indicated by that problem. Sometimes it’s just physical thing, but often it’s not.
Other people are a more obvious and straightforward channel for God to talk to me. If I isolate, I close that channel. God can still get to me, but if I really want to be open to God, then I need to show up with my friends and my community. Messages come and go like lightning in a summer thunderstorm. I’m sure I’m giving them to others as well. I like the description that people are God with skin on. I’ve learned so much from other people. Sometimes God just tunes me into their messages. Other times, He speaks directly through them to answer a question for me. And, many times, He jokes around with me through others. I see myself in others all the time.
It was a revelation to me that God would communicate with me in a unique way. I always believed you had to go to church to talk to God. But, what I’ve finally realized is that God created me. He took every cell and crafted them in a way that is uniquely me. I’m quirky. I’m stubborn. I’m curious. I’m sensuous. I’m silly. I’m self-deprecating. I struggle with depression. I’m sexual. I’m relational. I’m Type A. I’m rebellious. He made me like that. He’s smart. If He wants to communicate with me, He’ll meet me where I am. And, He has done that so many times. It’s why I know He cares about me so much. He takes all of my little quirks and eccentricities and He works with them to make me uniquely me and to help others see how beautiful they are. It’s such an honor when God takes time to communicate with me. And, it’s also a lot of fun. He’s funny …. and very, very, very wise. Why wouldn’t he text?
Me: So what should I worry about today?
Me: LOL You know I can’t do that.
God: Yeah, I know.
Me: So? What should I worry about?
God: Being uniquely you. I’ll do the rest.