I am sweating my ass off. I listed my house last night and met one of my cousins for dinner. She and her family are camping at a nearby state park with their grandkids. I haven’t seen my cousin since high school. It was a lot of fun, and it was nice to eat some of their campside dinner and play with their grandkids and my dog. When I got back in the car to drive home, it was 87 degrees at 9 PM. Crap, I thought. It’s hot. When I walked in my house it wasn’t any cooler. My air conditioner was out. My first thought was … OMG … I’m moving to Louisiana. It’ll be worse than this down there. WTF am I thinking?
Really? The newest system in my 100 year old house breaks the minute I list my house. I just replaced the system in 2010 right after I moved in. So, I spent a sweaty night last night and called to get someone to come out today. They could come out, but I couldn’t get a window. I emailed my boss and told him I’d be working from home but then I decided I had too much on my mind, and I took the day off. My realtor was coming out to get pictures, and I needed to pick stuff up. I had decided to start purging my house of stuff first, and every closet and drawer I opened had more crap in it than I ever imagined I had. This is not going to be as easy as I thought. As the temperature went up in the house, I got more and anxious about what I was doing. I mean, I have a perfectly good job in Memphis. And why did I ever buy a house? Why didn’t I just rent? Then, somebody else could pay for the $500 repair that I was about to endure.
Of course, the AC guy and my realtor showed up at the same time, so there was a lot of confusion. He had already given me the estimate for the repair. Poor kid. He thought I was going to chew him out. I just laughed and said, “Of course it will be $500. Just fix it.” Then, my realtor walked in and told me there was some rotten wood outside that they would probably have me replace when it sells. All of a sudden, I could see this move costing me thousands and thousands of dollars. I would have to pay more to get out of this house than I paid to get in it. I know my ENFP self. When my emotions start boiling, everything in my emotional wake gets rolled up in it and exaggerated. I started crying, and my realtor, who reads my blog and knows how wacky I am, immediately told me not to worry. “It’s a board,” she said. She reminded me that they replaced it when I moved in. It wasn’t that big of a deal. “I know. I’m just hot, and I don’t have any money, and this air conditioner is costing me $500 that I don’t have to spend. I wish I’d never bought a house,” I blubbered. She had sold me this house, so in some way I guess I was kind of mad at her for getting me into this. After she talked me down off the ledge reminding me of what I just wrote yesterday about how everything is temporary – I hate it when somebody quotes me back to me – I calmed down and went to Starbucks. If the world is falling apart, a venti mocha frappucino is ALWAYS the answer.
In a way, I’m glad the AC guy came by – not $500 glad mind you – because he told me and the realtor what a great selling feature it is that I have a new system with the new R410A refrigerant. He said people are not buying houses with the R22 units because they are phasing it out. Potential sellers are faced with the risk that they’ll have to replace equipment should they need a repair. My realtor also told me that she expects my house to sell within 3 months at the most. She read my blog where I said I was prepared for a 6-12 month wait, and she thinks that is crazy. She has a house on the market now that she thought would never sell, and it has two offers on it right now. So, I’m encouraged. Maybe this won’t be so bad. At any rate, it’s not in my control anyway. I can only do what I can do TODAY.
I’m no longer sweating my ass off. The house is cooler. My animals have calmed down. I’ve sucked down half of this frappucino. My friend Buffy just pinged me that she and her husband need some things and she wants to come “shop” at my house. She mentioned that this was the perfect timing for them as they are moving this weekend. The timing is always perfect. I wish I could remember that. I’m going to be giving some stuff to people who need it this weekend. I’m letting it go and trusting that what I need will come back to me. I’ve learned that is the way of the universe. If I hold on too tight and grasp at love or money or security or anything else, I create stagnation. But if I go with the flow and give, I create space for new things to come back to me.
A friend of mine in Arkansas who I helped get settled in Memphis last year called me after I texted her that I was moving. She now lives in Little Rock. She said she has this weird quirk that she likes to help people move. She wants to come help me next weekend. Wow… that was just what I needed. I confided in a friend that these were the times when I hated to be without a partner. She said, “You know… I have a partner, and right now I wish I didn’t. You can go do whatever you want to do when you want to do it. If it’s not the right thing, you can do something else.” She’s staying for financial reasons, and it’s hard. We all have our challenges. Maybe my little sweat-fest this morning was just a way of reminding me how damn hot it’s going to be in Louisiana. That’s the one thing that I don’t know if I can handle. But, I handled it today … with a little help from my friends. And, I believe they sell mocha frappucino’s down there in Baton Rouge, don’t they? What am I worried about? Besides, the ball is rolling. I’m going to have to go along for the ride.