This week I’ve spent a good deal of time talking with a friend about the end of her abusive relationship with her ex-husband turned boyfriend. It’s taken a long time for her to get free, but she did a month or so ago. But, it’s not easy. I’ve been right where she was. When you are in a relationship long-term with someone that is abusive verbally and emotionally, your self-esteem goes in the toilet. So, we were discussing how she felt like something is wrong with her especially when he targets her with one of those caustic breakup texts.
One of the amazing capabilities of human beings is their ability to adapt. It is also our achilles’ heel. We adapt to the most awful situations. I had PTSD from my second marriage, and, yet I was paralyzed to leave it. I stayed in a job that was so brutal that when I started the next one, I flinched every time my new manager walked up. I was paralyzed in my new role until I started asking questions, and I realized that this environment was totally different. It was only at that moment – and I remember the day vividly – that I realized that I had let myself adapt to another abusive environment. In both cases – the marriage and the job – I did not realize how bad it was until I got out of it.
An old saying declares that if you try to throw a frog in boiling water, he will jump out. But, if you put him in a pan of cold water and gradually raise the heat, he will get comfortable with it and stay there until he is boiled. I was thinking about how I think we do that, but I honestly was not in a good enough place to think about those negative environments I’ve been in and the fear that I’m in another one. I decided not to write it. Then, guess what card I pulled in my Native American card deck? Ooookkkaaaayyyy!! I had to give it another look. Turns out, science says the adage is not true. The frog will jump out when the water gets too hot. But, there’s a YouTube video that shows otherwise. However, they don’t show the point where the water gets too hot. The video water temperature gauge is at 90 when they cut to the next scene when the water is boiling. I would show you the video, but I didn’t like to watch them killing that frog for a stupid experiment. You can google it if you want to watch it.
It turns out that Frog Medicine has nothing to do with getting used to intolerable stuff. “Frog sings the song that bring the rain and makes the road dirt more bearable,” my book says. You can read the entire reading here. Essentially frog medicine is about cleansing. It’s about the healing powers of water to transform your soul. The reading specifically mentioned tears as frog medicine, and I cried this morning. I needed it. Frog asked me, “If you were to look at where you are today, would you use any of the following words to describe your condition: tired, overloaded, harried, frustrated, guilty, itchy, nervous, at a loss, empty or weakened?” Well … I don’t feel itchy. There’s one. Apparently the message from Frog is to do something this weekend that is cleansing for my soul and that replenishes me. Well, I am going to sit in a rainstorm tomorrow night to watch a football game. Not sure how replenishing that will be, but with some soap and a brush, it would be cleansing.
Because of a last-minute issue, I have no plans this weekend other than the game. I think I may take heed of this ‘frog’s’ message to me. Maybe I’ll head down to the coast on Sunday for a bit if it’s nice. I definitely don’t want to be in the heat. That’s not refreshing for me. But, Bay St. Louis seems like an appropriate water destination. They have A/C, and I could use the water to cool off. I may see if there’s a fluke opening on Vacation Rentals by Owner Sunday night… one that allows dogs. Or, maybe I’ll get a massage. Oh yeah.. and the rain… the rain will cool things off on Saturday. I can’t wait for that. Maybe I’ll be like frog and find a big lily pad in the pond and enjoy the pitter-patter of the rain.
Y’all have a great weekend and be careful wherever your journey leads. And don’t run over any frogs. They are the good guys.