Random Reflections on a Friday Night

IMG_0893My thoughts are all over the place tonight. This week was very busy for me. I caught up with all of my appointments I missed over the holidays. They were fun, but they took time, and I found myself missing my regular exercise. I tuned in for yoga classes a couple of times at 6 AM this week on my new fitness site, and I walked my dog as much as possible, but I didn’t get any strength-training or running in at all. I feel like a slug. Of course, a slug would probably freeze in this weather, but I seem to be hanging in. I just have a lot of pent-up energy that I need to let loose.

So, instead of getting up and doing something, I decided to surf the internet. I stumbled across this article that AARP wrote about the perks of dating boomer women. It emphatically proclaimed that men should date closer to their age. Of course, I found that interesting. I’m in an age where the older guys want to date me, but much older gets me dating someone in a much different stage of life. I’d prefer to find someone my own age. But, many of the guys my age prefer to date younger. It frustrates me when I look at dating sites, and the age requirements declare they want a woman at least 5 years younger them at the least. You can read the article here. The article kind of made me feel good about myself. There seems to be perks about being older and more seasoned. I’ve been fairly depressed about the dating scene the last year, and I’ve decided to get out and meet people the old-fashioned way. I think that may work better for me. But it’s slow.

I read some of the stuff about the Paris terrorist attack. I would love to bury my head in the sand and pretend that I didn’t know about some of the bad stuff that goes on in this world. It does scare me that these evil thugs can target individual citizens and walk in and take their lives on what appears to be a normal day at work. I looked at the murderer’s faces and wondered what their parents must be thinking right now. Who would ever think their children would be capable of something like this? How do people become capable of doing things like this? I don’t understand it at all. Why can’t we all just get along?

For some reason today, I googled an old beau. I dated a Democratic State Senator in Tennessee that I met on Match. He was nice enough, but he was divorced the year before, and he hadn’t really announced it to his constituency. He thought it would hurt his re-election efforts if they knew he was divorced. So, his ex still went with him to some events. Sometimes I thought he was maybe still married and lying about it. Other times, I thought he was being a big chicken by not telling the truth about his life and letting the chips fall where they may. I ended it without really giving it much of a chance. Both scenarios turned me off. I found out he was not re-elected anyway. I was tempted to contact him to say hi and then thought better of it. No need to open that can of worms.

Then, I skipped over to my Live Fitness site to see what was happening on the discussion board. Jessica is starting a running group. She tore her meniscus in the fall, and she’s been sidelined from running for 2 months. So, she’s starting a Couch-to-5K training program. I had been thinking earlier that I really needed to find something to get me going again. It’s probably been 3 weeks since I’ve been exercising regularly. And, to be honest, I just don’t feel like it right now. But, I know I will only get the energy to exercise if I start exercising. If I keep sitting, I will only want to sit more. A body in motion stays in motion, and a body at rest stays at rest, you know? I’m on the couch now. I’d like to be running a 5K in the future. It sounds like a Couch-to-5K program would be a great match-up for my goals.

I suppose I feel a little down tonight. My heart feels a little heavy. I saw a picture of some old high school friends on Facebook. One of their classmate’s funeral last week. Seeing those faces reminded me of days in baseball uniforms, dreams that had no basis in reality and the innocence of thinking that life was a series of dances, laughter and fun. Did we ever really think that we’d be attending OUR funerals one day? I can’t recall ever having that in my imagination. My biggest worry was how to keep my hair from frizzing with enough hairspray to create a fairly secure football helmet. Old age … well … it was for old people. And I was young. Our friend that died was hot and cool and rebellious when he wasn’t being smart and kind. My young friend Jessica is attending weddings and losing time with gal pals to pregnancies and husbands. I remember those days, too. We are cohorts, aren’t we, in this school of life? No matter how far we go, we all go there together in time. That feels happy and sad to me at the same time. And, then again, maybe life is a series of dances, laughter and fun – whether we gather at weddings or funerals. I’ll have to noodle on that awhile. But, RIP Leonard. You live on in your friends until the last one is standing.

I’m looking forward to a great weekend. The events will hopefully pull me out of my little dip of sadness. I think I’ll head to bed for some reading and some snuggles with my kitties. My heart goes out to Paris …. to those without friends to comfort them … to animals looking for a warm place to land … and to those whose journey here is much more troubled and precarious than mine. I wish this world were a gentler place. I hunger for softness, kindness, warmth and love. My heart goes out to you, wherever you are. May God bless you with all that I want for myself. Good night and happy weekend.

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