I slept so good last night. I opted out of drinking coffee yesterday. I haven’t had a problem with it lately. Ever since I’ve seriously cut back on sugar, coffee doesn’t seem to bother me. Of course, I mainly drink some in the mornings and maybe one right after lunch, but yesterday I got up and just didn’t feel like my stomach wanted to deal with coffee. It’s been a little upset lately for some reason. So, I slept really good last night.
I’ve been doing a 20-minute yoga practice every morning when I get up. I got some energy work done last week, and the Shaman (Lexlee Overton) told me to keep doing my yoga and meditation every morning. I really feel like it is helping me with the aches and pains I have when I get up in the morning. I don’t do anything strenuous, and 20 minutes isn’t that long. Ashok waits for me to finish my practice so we can take our walk. When I get back, I shower and then meditate for about 15-20 minutes. Lexlee recommended that I do a little automatic writing after meditation. I’ve been doing that, and it’s been really enlightening. I write “Show me … tell me … teach me” and then just scribe whatever pops into my head. I feel like I’m listening to Spirit. It’s awesome. I’ve also been drawing a Medicine Card just because it’s so fun playing in a sacred space like that. It certainly shifts my perspective – at least for a little while.
All of that spiritual practice has taken up some time in the morning, so I’m having to exercise at night, and it hasn’t been happening. Work has not been so much fun, and I feel drained when I come home. Last night, I texted Jessica (my former personal trainer and friend). I told her I was in an exercise rut. Amazingly, after doing that, I felt like practicing yoga, so I did. Then, tonight I came home and did some strength-training. Maybe I just needed to admit I was in a rut in order to create some momentum.
After my 11-mile long run a week and a half ago, I have not been motivated to run. In fact, last weekend, I sort of half decided that I’m not going to run the race. I hate to do that because I’ve already been training so long and doing so well, but I’m just really tired of running those long runs in this heat by myself. When I was in Memphis, my running was social, but I just haven’t met enough people who run my pace to make running a social event. I’m just sick of it. And the thought of going to that race by myself and running it by myself just doesn’t sound fun at the moment. I may change my mind. I have time to have a little tantrum and recoup, but, right now, I’m not feeling it.
I’ve been feeling off-kilter for a week or so. One minute I’m feeling good. The next minute I feel like jumping off a cliff. Good thing there aren’t any cliffs here. Then I get sick to my stomach because I feel so bad emotionally. I meditate or do yoga … then I feel better. It just feels like I’m on a roller coaster of feelings, and I’m not eating sugar. I’m just really trying to keep eating right, moving, doing the next right thing until I can get out of this mood spell. This, too, shall pass … right?
Lexlee’s Grounding Meditation – A Lifesaver
And it’s STILL HOT!!!! Today it was 90 degrees. Tomorrow is October. Actually, tomorrow is October 1 – International Coffee Day!!! I know this weather is normal. My sister mentioned today that it was easier to exercise in the summer. “It isn’t summer?” I asked incredulously. She meant summer vacation because she’s one of those teachers who doesn’t work during the summer, but I have no memory of what being off in the summer was ever like. Anyway, I’m sick of the air conditioning. I’m sick of sitting to meditate and sweat pouring down the side of my face. I’m sick of hot flashes. I’m sick of wearing summer clothes. I’m sick of painting my toes. It’s fall!!! Let’s get on with it.
I think I’ll go to bed and read. Last night, I took an issue of Backpacker magazine to bed. My backpacking class starts next week. I can’t wait. I read a story about a woman who went hiking behind her house with her two dogs, and two baby grizzly cubs came running across the path. Momma Bear freaked out, killed one of her dogs and attacked her. He bit her in the head 3 times, sliced open her stomach with her claws, tore her ear off and literally ripped out the muscles of her shoulder. I’m glad the worse thing I have to worry about is getting run over by a car. She lived, but geez… that’s a bad day. She still gets out and hikes. Maybe I’ll read something a little more uplifting tonight.
I looked at Ashok when I put my magazine down before sleeping last night and asked her if she would protect me from a grizzly if one attacked me. She looked at me like I was crazy. I guess not, then. I’d better learn to use bear spray if I’m out in grizzly territory. Looks like I’m on my own.