I’ve been sliding downhill a bit this week. When I get overwhelmed at work or life, one of my tendencies is to shut down … hide, isolate and withdraw affection from others. It’s an ENFP trait. My friend Laura and I were talking about it the other day. I’m normally open and energetic, but, when I get overwhelmed, I boomerang back the other way with a dizzying intensity. Yesterday was really hard. I’m not going to lie.
Luckily in the last few months, I’ve been given some tools to work with my energy, and I’ve been learning how to use them. In an unusually long span of feeling clean, clear energy, it’s been easy to keep up the pace. But, yesterday, I had to really focus myself on using them. My negative bent was telling me nothing would work to pull me out. I ignored that message as much as I could, and I chose a few crystals to put under my pillow last night. I did my yoga practice last night and this morning. This morning Lexlee’s light-raising meditation perked me up a bit. I’m still flying half-staff this morning, but it’s half better than yesterday. I’m grateful for tools.
I pulled the dog card from my Medicine Cards. Dog medicine is about service to others and loyalty. Dogs are so loyal that they often are trained to go against their loving nature to please their masters. They are protectors, and they have been servants of man for many, many centuries. I think of my girl, and I know that she puts up with a pretty boring life most days waiting on me to come home from work, and she never complains. She basically does whatever I want her to do. It inspires me to treat her like a queen when I can.
When I first read it, I recoiled a little because I’m already feeling overwhelmed. Is dog medicine telling me to just buckle down and keep my mouth shut? But it asks some questions that changed my insights. “Have I recently forgotten that I owe my allegiance to my personal truth in life?” dog asks. “Have I been loyal and true to my goals?” There are others, but those are the ones that seem to apply to my “pain” today.
When I think of those questions, my body relaxes as I realize that I need to remember to focus on the people I’m serving in my work and in my personal life. What I do requires a presence of mind and a heart connection to those I’m teaching. In order to be present with that intensity, I have to let go of all of the political crap and inconsequential drama that goes on with work. It sort of reminds me of Ashok’s recent incident eating sand. She was trying to eat something in the sand and ingested too much sand along with it. What she was eating didn’t cause a problem, but the sand could have killed her if I had not intervened. I have to focus on my goal and my personal service to others. The rest of it is just sand.
So, here goes … I’m going to try to channel dog today and see what happens. I think I’ll bring a citrine crystal along with me, too, just for good measure.