The Trouble with the Truth

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Me and Lorna

Stacy, the medium at Indigo Spiritual Center, says that our friends on the other side can definitely communicate with us on a regular basis. She says one of their favorite ways to do it is to mess with the electromagnetic field. For instance, they can put a song on the radio while you are changing channels that will remind you of them. When it happens, she encourages me to follow my gut instinct and know that they just said hi to me. I know it’s probably happened to me in the past, but I never thought anything about it. But, it happened to me yesterday, and I immediately took note because of this new information.

I was driving home for lunch in my little short commute, and the radio was off. All of sudden, Patty Loveless was blasting “The Trouble with the Truth” on my radio. It shocked me, and I immediately thought of my friend Lorna. I knew that her country-music-lovin’ soul had just tapped me on the shoulder to remind me that the truth is the truth is the truth, and I won’t always like it.

I giggled a bit and started thinking about a few things in my life right now that represent old lessons resurfacing for another ride.  The Universe is letting me decide whether to choose differently than in the past … or not. That’s the trouble with the truth. It never changes, but sometimes I want to pretend it does by making a case for the more painful or inconvenient choice.

I spent six months not eating sugar. I felt better than I have in a really long time. I was even able to start drinking coffee again without the adverse side effects on my blood sugar. It seems that it’s the sugar roller coaster that makes my body sensitive to caffeine. I was really happy getting to indulge my coffee habit and have that hit of caffeine without regret. But, lately – after my holiday and birthday indulgences – coffee was once again the canary in the coal mine. I could tell my blood sugar was up and down and my mood was all over the place. My sleep was impacted, and I know I have to stop for awhile and get back on track. That’s the trouble with the truth, it never changes. Sugar is not good for this old gal.

I decided to stop on Monday, but the sugar cycle had me in its grip. I’d do fine until I got hungry, and the cravings got so bad, I caved. Yesterday, I caved with a bag of peanut M&Ms from the junk machine at work. It tasted so good in the moment. But, I was starving when I got home. I ate a bowl of homemade vegetable soup, and I could hardly taste it. The craving for something sweet was so intense that all I wanted was that sweet hit of heaven on my tongue. I didn’t cave. I was so aggravated at feeling this way again that I talked myself down and ate a grapefruit. Unfortunately, I knew I’d be in for a rough night. The roller coaster is relentless in its pursuit of relief, and I felt awful most of the night.

Würfelzucker - Rohrzucker

At 2 AM, I was wide awake. I beat myself up for awhile. Why did I let myself do this? HOW on earth am I going to have the willpower to get over the next few days and these super aggressive cravings? I was not happy with myself. I finally got to some peace and promised that I would take care of myself better tomorrow. I decided I would eat some eggs and whole wheat toast for breakfast, work out and be gentle with myself around the whole sugar thing. That’s exactly what I did. I feel much better now. I know the cravings will come. I’ve been off coffee and milk for 2 1/2 days. I’m off sugar since yesterday at 3:30 PM. They will come. The trouble with the truth is that it never changes, and I know exactly how it will play out.

There are lots of truths I’ve had to learn in my life. Most of them have to do with either universal laws or the truth about myself. I don’t know that I like most of the truths I’ve had to wrestle. I am limited in what I can handle. I used to think I could handle anything. The truth is that I can handle anything, but I just don’t need to put myself through that. So, Lorna, thank you for reminding me that the truth is the truth is the truth. On so many levels, saying “no” to what is not good for me – like sugar – is an act of wild liberation. I’ll try to remember that when those cravings hit me like a log truck at about 3 PM. Please send sweet prayers my way.

 

 

 

3 thoughts on “The Trouble with the Truth

  1. Songs are one of her favorite ways to communicate with me. “Empire State of Mind” blasted out first thing on the day of her birthday to remind me not to keep my NYC frame of mind. And, an Adele song, that I knew was her favorite ALWAYS pulls up on my iPod; always.

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