I’m feeling nostalgic this evening. This afternoon on Facebook, my June 26 post from 2013 popped up in news feed.
Wow! I can’t believe three years ago today I was in the midst of moving down here to Baton Rouge. I read the blog and totally got engrossed in a trip down memory lane. I went to my blog page and selected June 2013 and read about two weeks worth of blogs leading up to my announcement of a new role with relocation and my ups and downs at the start of that journey. I had to giggle a little because I mentioned in several of them – especially the one when my AC went out – that I was afraid the Louisiana heat was going to get to me. I pegged that one for sure!
It’s interesting to go back and compare what I hoped would happen to what really did happen. I was very optimistic that I would be happy here but I also was a little worried about it. Reading my words about saying good-bye to friends and a place I’d loved for 7 years made me long for Memphis. I was so absorbed in the moving that I barely had time to feel during those weeks and months. It was a task to be completed, and I, as a single person, had to manage it myself. I had lots and lots of friends helping, and I am very grateful for that. It was a hard time for me physically and emotionally, but it was also a lot of fun. I was energized by the start of a new life.
Tonight I went to The Red Shoes for a spiritual circle that I’ve attended in the past. The last time I was there I was in the midst of that awful anxiety storm over a year ago. My life was a mess on every level, and I was desperately searching for jobs to try to get out of a role that did not fit for me. I was stopped at every turn, and I finally just gave up and had to trust that whatever God had planned for me was going to unfold without my doing. The topic of tonight’s meeting was “God Stories”, and several us told stories of how God showed up for us in a miraculous and sometimes uncanny way. I was very inspired, and I left in a spirit of gratitude for the journey of my life and even for the last three years. I’m still not grateful for the heat but I’m working on it.
Bay St. Louis this weekend….
This weekend I went with my friend Jadine to Bay St. Louis. She made the trek from Houston on Friday, and we stayed at the Pink Heron Cottages that I wrote about a month or so ago. It was brutally hot, but we had a blast. We stopped briefly in New Orleans on Friday to drop some Sourdough Starter off with my friend Michael, and he gave me some imported French flour. Our plan was to spend a little time in the French Quarter and then head to BSL. But it was so hot and crowded, we just made the exchange and left. We were seeking gulf breezes, and it could not wait.
We had a blast shopping, getting pedicures, meeting people, drinking great coffee and the Mockingbird Cafe’s fabulous home-made Chai. It was Pirate’s Days in the bayside burg, and, although it wasn’t super crowded, there was lots of pirate-related fun to be had. We got to walk on the beach Saturday evening and had a lovely dinner at the Sycamore House. I’d never been there, but I will definitely be back. We had an asparagus-cucumber soup that was served cold, a vegetarian pizza and key lime pie. It was all divine, but one of the best parts of the meal was our super-interesting server Chad. He’s a bit of a gambling expert, and we enjoyed his stories about being wined and dined by the casinos.
Saturday Shopping at California Drawstrings…
Most of all, Jadine and I talked. We just met last year at a women’s retreat, and we have spending time together when we can given the distance between Houston and Baton Rouge. We have a lot in common, and I’m really enjoying the budding friendship. I was sorry to see the weekend end so quickly.
As I was reading my blogs about my relocation, I wondered how my life would be different had I said no to the job opportunity at LCTCS. Would I still be working at FedEx? Would I still be in Memphis? I know that I was feeling “done” with Memphis before I moved. Even though I loved it there, I had a longing to go somewhere else. I had a longing to get out of those corporate roles. I wanted something different. It felt like it was time to move, but I never would have anticipated moving home. It literally came out of nowhere.
Friday Festivities – Shopping at Platinum Pony Traveling Boutique …..
Had I not moved here, I would not know Jadine. I most certainly would not have met my friends Phillip and Connie in Bay St. Louis. Those friendships have been formed because I head over that way with some frequency. I have no idea what my life would be like without this move, but I know what it would NOT be like. In hindsight, I believe this move was always meant to be. I’m sure the timing was perfect because it always is. I have learned so much about taking care of myself in the past three years. Perhaps I would have learned it in Memphis, but I’ll never know for sure.
Sycamore House Dining… with the wonderful Chad!
It was here in Baton Rouge that I learned how to work with my generalized anxiety in a way that I was able to get off an anti-depressant that I was on for 20 years. I did a great deal of work with a career counselor, and I’m much clearer about what I want to do professionally and what I’m good at. (And I know I shouldn’t end a sentence with “at”.) I’ve truly learned how to be a support to myself and let go of the need to have the approval of others. It creeps up every now and again, but I have become much stronger in my ability to stand in my power and let the chips fall where they may. Ironically, my issues with feeling unlovable were formed here, and it is here where I’ve let that go. While the past three years was at times almost unbearable, they have also been very fruitful. I have a great sense of gratitude for where I am today. And I look forward to what tomorrow might bring.
Goodnight, y’all. Have a great week. Don’t let the past get you down. It’s what has moved you forward to today. It’ll all look better in hindsight.