Gratitude and Acceptance

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There is so much in my life right now that I am having difficulty accepting. I don’t want to get into the details because that’s part of the problem. I’m in the details at 2:30 AM in my bed, in the bathroom at work, while I’m walking my dog and when I’m trying to enjoy a nice view. The hamster wheel in my mind is furiously spinning with the huge problems that will befall me if what is happening today continues. And yet I know it’s just a hamster wheel. It’s not truly going anywhere, and my worry predicts nothing.

This morning’s reading in “The Language of Letting Go” is about practicing acceptance and gratitude whenever I feel out of sorts. There are times when I’m not ready to hear that message. But I hit a low the last two days. And I just can’t do it anymore. The hamster wheel is flying off it’s rails, and I don’t have the energy to put it back on. I’m tired of feeling sick and tired. So, when I read that this morning, it sunk in.

I am grateful for so many things. I was born with talent and intelligence and have been offered many opportunities to grow and change. Somehow I was born with the will to look inward and the desire to solve my internal problems which seems to be the difference between a life of mediocre striving and one of joy. I am grateful for that. I am even grateful for those experiences that have held me to the fire. Without them, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I still have much to work out, but I’m grateful that I’m breathing this morning with another chance of going at it.

Acceptance comes harder because I have this idiotic belief that if I want something to be different bad enough, it will change. I cry, “This is unacceptable!” In my twisted thoughts, I think the situation needs to change, and I’ll worry and work and worry and work trying to make it change. The reality is my mind needs to change. One of my favorite sayings is from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:

acceptance

There are a few problems in my life that I cannot fix on my own right now. There is very little I can control. But I can shift my mind into gratitude and acceptance of where I am at this moment. Like every other moment, this, too, shall pass. Things will get better … or they’ll get worse. But the truth is they will never stay the same. And I’m very grateful about that. Now I just need to work on the acceptance. Grrrr….. 

6 thoughts on “Gratitude and Acceptance

  1. I think everyone struggles with difficulty some time in there life. Sometimes they are problems like you say, nothing we can do, we just deal with them. Talking to others sometimes help, sometimes it the worst thing we can do.
    For me I need look no farther than those of my friends here locally that have lost there homes due to the flood. Those that are battling cancer, lost there job, there marriage, spouse. The list is long, and that’s just the way I deal with my problems. Everyone has to deal with there issues the best way for them.
    Just know you are loved Sharon!

  2. Hey!! Love FR gives you lemons make lemonade……life gives you limes make margaritas!!
    Also remember when dealing with people….it takes 42 muscles to frown but only 5 to slap the hell out of them!!!!
    Always enjoy reading your “moments” let us know when you are going to Galveston again…..we’ll hook you up with one of our “Eats with the Moodys” Joints!

  3. I am usually pretty good with the gratitude, but acceptance can be SO hard!! I am sorry for your current struggles, but have faith you will work your way through it as you always have, with humor, grace, and a healthy dose of grrr…

    Hope you have a peaceful and rejuvenating Thanksgiving weekend!

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