The Chatter #phonebreakup


“Get up! Let’s listen to Colbert’s monologue. I’ll bet he’s yanking on Omarosa!”

“I’m waiting an hour before I get my phone.”

“What? An hour? What about the weather? Don’t you need to know the weather?”

“The weather can wait an hour. I’m not running this morning.”

“What if something happened last night? You might have a text or a phone call or an emergency? What if somebody died? Are you crazy?”

“Well, they’ll still be dead in an hour.”

“This is ridiculous.”

“An hour’s up. Yeah… get it, get it. Let’s listen to Colbert. He’s so funny. OMG, he’s hilarious. Check Instagram. Maybe Ailie has posted some more pictures.”

“I took my social media apps off my phone.”


“I removed the apps. I’m only checking it on my computer now, and Instagram really isn’t that good on the computer.”

“Well, that’s crazy. How are you going to keep up with Laura’s pictures? And what about Jessica’s workouts? You are going to miss out on everything.”

“I’m not going to miss out on writing, nature and my life. That’s what I want to focus on. Besides, I can check social media at work. If I need to I can add Instagram back on occasion. It’s not like I’m never going to use it.”


“This is ridiculous. Are you sure you want to do this? The browser version of Facebook sucks. You can control yourself.”

“No, I can’t.”

“What about Ashok’s Facebook page? Everybody will miss her pictures. And how are you going to keep up with Alisa and Hannah and Christy? You know she’s got those cute kittens now!”

“I’ll live. Maybe I’ll actually call them or ask Christy to text me some pictures of the kittens. I like that better anyway. We are actually talking to each other.”

“Well suit yourself.”


“What are you doing?”

“I’m putting my phone in my desk drawer. What does it look like I’m doing?”

“But you are going into a meeting.”


“But what are you going to do when it gets boring?”

“I’m going to pay attention anyway.”

“What if you have to look something up?”

“Look, dumbass. I have a computer. It has Google installed on it.”

“What if somebody needs you? How will they get you?”

“This is not a work phone. If they need me, they can ping me on Hangouts on my computer or leave me a message. There is nothing going to happen in 30 minutes that can’t wait.”


“This is boring.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Don’t you wish you had your phone?”

“No. I’m trying to pay attention.”

“But this is so technical. You don’t need to know this.”

“Maybe I will. If I don’t listen, they’ll just have to repeat themselves and I’ll look like I wasn’t paying attention because I wasn’t.”

“Who cares what they think?” 

“I’m not bringing my phone into meetings – at least for the time being. Now shut up.”



“Wonder if rabbits get fleas.”


“I wonder if rabbits get fleas. Why don’t you google it?”

“I don’t care if rabbits get fleas. I’m not googling it. I’m working.”

“Yeah, but you hate spreadsheets. And this is an interesting question.”

“Yes, I hate spreadsheets, but I need to get this done so I can go home. Don’t you want to go home?”

“Yes, but I really want to know if rabbits get fleas. I wonder if it’s going to rain this weekend. Can you check the weather? What if there are aliens? Can we see if Google thinks there are aliens? That could be a real problem….”


“You are forgetting your phone.”

“I’m not taking my phone. I’m taking Ashok for a walk.”

“What??? What about pictures for your blog? The sunset might be beautiful, and you won’t have a picture of it.”

“I don’t need another picture of the sunset. I’ve been enjoying walking and just being in the moment. I can take pictures for my blog another time. I don’t need them every day.”

“Well what if something happens, or if somebody needs you? What if Susan texts you, and you don’t answer right away?”

“She’ll know I’m busy living my life. She’s doing this, too, BTW.”

“Breaking up with her phone? Why?”

“Because she wants more free time. Do you realize how much time that phone takes out of your life?”

“But it’s fun.”

“Yes, it can be fun. But it can also be a time suck. I’m just trying to use it more mindfully. Do you realize I’m sleeping better and dreaming and writing more?”

“Yes, I’ve noticed. And I feel happier I have to say. Can we Google ‘does not using your phone make you happier?’ Are you sure you don’t want to take your phone? Why don’t you track your distance on Runkeeper?”







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