The last six months have felt normal. I’ve finally built a home, established some bedrock friendships and have a somewhat flexible routine. It’s right on time, too. When I relocate, it takes six months for the newness and excitement to wear off. For six months to a year after that, it’s pretty damn lonely and depressing as I try to build community and endure countless rejections. About the three year mark, I usually feel pretty connected and am starting to be a bit overwhelmed because I have so much going on.
Faces in my Michigan world….
I hate that it takes so long. The only one that was different for me was Memphis. For a combination of reasons and one being that Memphis is just so damn welcoming and soulful, I was rock solid in a group of friends in a year. And, I’m glad I was because I left my husband after a year there, and I really needed the support. I’ve tried to speed up the adjustment to a new location, but the reality is it just takes that long. There is no such thing as speed-baking a cake, and there is no such thing as speeding up a relocation adjustment. It is what it is.
That long winter of year one in Michigan and even last year had some rough days. Loneliness would creep in with a stranglehold on my heart. It would literally take my breath away at times. The fear that life would always be lonely would crescendo and then morph into a profound sense of hopelessness. “This, too, shall pass,” I’d remind myself as I cried myself to sleep. The next morning was almost always better with plans and responsibilities on my plate. If I’m feeling bad, I remind myself that things will change. And, I also remind myself that good things pass, too. There will always be darkness. There will always be light. There will always be change.
This week I had plenty to do and plenty of friends to keep me company. I completed part of a long list of chores for this afternoon, and I prepped my meals for the week. My house is as clean as it can be for the week and all three meals for tomorrow are prepared. I had a long conversation with my friend Alayne who’s in her own relocation adjustment period. I don’t know what life will look like next week or next month, but I know that today was a good day. I sort of wish I could hang onto it another 24 hours just to relish the comfort of a perfectly normal day as a Michigander.
Y’all have a good week now. And if you are feeling lonely, reach out to somebody. They may just need you, too.