Subtle Shifts Matter

I learned to motivate myself by being hard on myself. You are a loser, so you'd better shape up. You're fat... better exercise and eat right. Nobody likes you, you'd better learn to be nice. Being mean to myself doesn't motivate me. Yes, it might cause me to get started with some action, but the shame … Continue reading Subtle Shifts Matter

Learning from Anxiety

I woke up this morning before the alarm. My jaw was clenched. My eyes felt wild and panicked, searching for something to fixate on. The back of my neck gripped onto itself. I knew I wouldn't go back to sleep. My animals started to stir, reacting to my movement. Anxiety, dammit.... Damn IT!  I've been … Continue reading Learning from Anxiety

Wrestling Anxiety… I Win

I jolted awake. I could hear Buster throwing up in the next room. "Dammit," I said. Poor Buster. I got up and took care of him and cleaned up the mess. I hopped back in bed only to realize that I was wracked with anxiety. "Dammit," I said more loudly. First I was pissed at … Continue reading Wrestling Anxiety… I Win

Sundays in Sawyer: Dancing With Darkness

It was dark when I left out this morning at 8 AM. Christmas lights sparkled red and green against the soft luminescent snow. The Winter Solstice is this week - Thursday to be exact. I love Solstice celebrations. When I think of the significance of lightness and darkness in our lives, it makes sense to … Continue reading Sundays in Sawyer: Dancing With Darkness

The Power of Gentleness

I chose a meditation this morning from my 10% Happier app that promised to provide focus. Sharon Salzberg was the teacher, and she promised to help me focus on the space between the breaths. I noticed my breathing was labored. I struggled with pausing between breaths. As soon as the exhale ended I was gasping … Continue reading The Power of Gentleness

Finding Laughter in the Darkness

I was searching for new podcasts a couple of weeks ago. I wanted something that was not political, informative and thought-provoking. I listen to one called Women on the Road about women who live in campers and travel all the time. One of my favorites is How I Built This about entrepreneurs who made it … Continue reading Finding Laughter in the Darkness

I’m Not Weird… Just Highly Sensitive

I always knew I was sensitive. But I was surrounded by people who thought it was a fatal flaw. Toughen up.... don't be so sensitive ... you need to learn to cope with life ... you are weak ... insults around my sensitivity engulfed me. As I tried to process things like anger, sarcasm, violent movies … Continue reading I’m Not Weird… Just Highly Sensitive

Meditation Rocks

In one of my favorite movies, Hoosiers, the basketball coach was battling heart disease. When the main character Norman enters his new boss's office, Cletus is sitting in meditation. He said he was "floating". His doctor had told him he had to manage his blood pressure, and meditation was his choice of medicine. In 1986 … Continue reading Meditation Rocks

Channeling My Inner Icelander: Longings

I spent another day yesterday riding the sugar roller coaster. "Just stop eating it," you say. "It's bad for me," I say. "It's poison," say the books that proclaim sugar as the downfall of our health as a country. "It's an addiction," say the psychologists and substance abuse counselors. "It keeps you company when you … Continue reading Channeling My Inner Icelander: Longings

Whatever Happened to Kindness?

The other morning I got up to do yoga. My yoga space has a small window that looks out into the street. It's on the third floor, so I get a bird's eye view of the area. I was standing in Tadasana, and I saw what I first thought was a dog. I realized in … Continue reading Whatever Happened to Kindness?